Why didn't I say that..

Honestly I have so many situations to where I should have said something or did something in that moment. Every time I got picked on as a kid I tried to come up with the comebacks that would get the job done, but the right words never came to mind. Every pointless fight that caused just pure rage with my sister. But honestly now. I'm so horrible of a smart...alick..that it's just not hard for me. I'm brutally honest and have no issue telling people on the spot what I think of them. It helps a lot with comebacks. Yeah.

My Track:)

I can feel the heat rising
Everything is on fire
Today is a painful reminder of why
We can only get brighter
The further you put it behind ya
But right now I'm on the inside
Lookin out, cause

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

Yesterday was the tornado warning, today is like the morning after
Your world is torn in half, you wake and let's wait to start the morning process
Rebuilding and you're still a work in progress
Today is a whole new chapter, it's like an enormous a**
The thunderstorm has passed ya
Your weather didn't poke his eyes out with the thorn bush that you
Used to smell the roses, stopped to inhale can't even tell your nose is stuffed
So focused on the brightside, then you floor the gas pedal
And hit the corner fast, the more asserted
Never looking back, may hit the curb
But everyday is a new learning curve, as you, steer through life
Sometimes you might not wanna swerve
But you have to to avert a disaster, lucky, no permanent damage
Cause they hurt you so bad, it's like they murdered your a**
And threw dirt on your casket, but you returned from the ashes
And that hurt that you have, you just converted to gasoline
And while you're burning the past, standing at inferno and chant

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

So familiarize with what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it's as though you feel you've died because you've been killed inside
But yet you're still alive which means you must survive
Although today you may weep because you're weak and
Everything seems so bleak and hopeless
The light that you're seeking, it begins to seep in
That's the only thing keepin' you from leapin' off the motherfreaking deep in
And I'm pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healin'
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you're willing
To forgive them even after all that s*** you been put through
This feeling of resilience is building and the flames are burning
Quick as fire would through this building, you're sealed in
But you're fireproof and retardant you withstood it
And as you climb up to the roof you're just chillin' and you look down
Cause you're so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceilin'

As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remaining the same
But tomorrow today's goin' down in flames
Throw the match at the passed up place

So feel the fire beneath your feet
As you barely even perspire from the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell
Still a little piece of you dies, you scream

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

Feel the burn, watch the smoke as I turn
Rising, a phoenix from the flames
With wings I will fly

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

I'm standing in the flames
It's a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

Beautiful Pain. Eminem ft. Sia
I absolutely love this song. I think it explains what I'm going through well. It's a rough time right now in my life. My family is split up and my entire life is going to be flipped upside down. I have a lot of decisions to make. But, in my life I've always tried to throw my past away. So I set fire to my yesterdays! See what I did there.? But this song just describes me to a tee. but, everything gets brighter as time goes on. Everything will come together in the end. My family will be back together and not everything will be so difficult. 

You had to be there to know

Well of course I have a million inside jokes. I've known most of these people since kindergarten. I have Cucumber with Rachel Bush and Makynlee Lowry. I have Bubbles with Jordan Kee. Lol. Broken Faucet with Jordan and Gwen. I had flop with Zoe Jendrey and my sister. Pokerface with Dakohta. "Hey *in a deep voice*" with Josh at Pizza Hut. Turn up for what with everyone that was in Hudson's car that Prom venue day. I know I have a million more, but I am seriously at a blank right now. So, I'm not sure what to do for all of this blog. I have more just...can't figure it out at all. 

My Dream

Holy mackerol I have always dreamed of going to Rome. Ever since I could remember It has been my ultimate dream. I love the architecture and the art that comes from it. My artsy side comes out when I think of Rome. I would to go the coliseum. I honestly just want to walk down the streets and just see the  culture and really experience Rome. Just everything about it appeals and intrigues me. I'm not really sure of all the attractions I would want to go to. I just want to go and just gahhh see it! It's just so beautiful and romantic. It's my life.